Behind the Scenes of Tahl's Tabloid
by Metoria
Summary: This is a behind the scenes look of Tahl's Tabloid by Sithstruck. No worries she gave me permission. :3 I hope you guys like it.
1. Origins

**Hey guys! Long time no see… er write.. Er type… er… anyway! This fic is for Sithstruck and her awesome Tabloid. This is the behind the scenes of it. I know I haven't finished Carnival of Souls… that's currently on hold until I can actually figure out how to write the next chapter…ANY WAY! Sithstruck gets the credit for the origin and inspiration to this fic *hands Sithstruck credits earned from fic and merchandise* Spend them wisely! Hope you guys enjoy! And you too Sithstruck! Thanks for giving me permission! You rock!**

…

Tahl's Tabloid 'Behind the scenes'

Chapter One: Origins

…

Qui-Gon stood outside the council room waiting to be admitted. No doubt he was going to get a very serious mission. They didn't even ask for Obi-Wan to come. It must be too dangerous for him.. That or they were still peeved at him for his little stunt last week with the toaster oven and Mace's hair remover shampoo. The doors opened and he walked in, ready for whatever assignment they would give him. He bowed. "Masters."

"Qui-Gon, have for you an important task, we do."

Qui-Gon listened intently.

"Get Tahl a hobby you must." The little green master said. Tahl was confined to the temple because of her blindness. Well that's what she would tell you. According to the masters, she was there until she recovered from her surgery.

He had not expected this! He just stared. "Huh?"

Mace sighed. His head was still bandaged from the toaster oven and hair removal incident. "She's bored."

"Okay…" Qui-Gon wasn't seeing where this was going.

"And because she's bored she's been playing pranks on both master's and padawans. She was responsible for this." Mace pointed to his bandaged head.

"I thought that was Obi-Wan…"

"It was but she instigated it. Then laughed her head off when it happened."

"oh…" The details on the incident were hazy, Mace wouldn't talk about it and Tahl swore Obi-Wan to secrecy.

"Get her a hobby, and fast."

Qui-Gon left the chambers utterly confused and dazed. Get Tahl a hobby? It was hard enough AVOIDING her current hobby. Just as he said that… SPLOOSH! The door he opened dropped a bucket of water on him. He sighed as he saw a form rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Sir, you mustn't roll on the floor it is filthy and you could get stepped on." Too-Jay said.

Tahl stopped laughing abruptly just so she could smack the droid, then went back to laughing.

…

Qui-Gon walked with Tahl back to her apartment. "You know the council is pretty annoyed at you for your actions lately."

"Oh, they deserve it. It will teach them to lighten up."

"Tahl." Qui-Gon spoke with a slight warning to his tone.

Tahl huffed. "Oh fine… I'll think of a new hobby."

"Why not painting?"

Tahl said nothing.

"Okay dumb suggestion." He forgot about the part of the hobby where you need to SEE you're art. "How about, reading… oh right… well Too-Jay could read to you…"

Tahl said nothing.

Qui-Gon was beginning to think she was insulted. "Alright why not writing. You dictate and Too-Jay types it up! I'm sure you could write some really interesting stories!"

Again she said nothing.

"Are you mad?"

She snapped her head at him a confused look on her face. "About what?"

"Well about the suggestions I-"

"Suggestions? You were talking?"

Was she deaf too?

She straightened. "I was too busy trying to think of a hobby. First I thought about painting… But I'd end up painting Too-Jay…not that I mind. Then I thought about reading or Too-Jay reading to me… But I'm not a toddler. Then I thought about writing, I could dictate and Too-Jay could type it up! I bet I could come up with some pretty interesting stories."

"That's great!" Qui-Gon was happy that she was possibly, most likely getting a new hobby. A harmless one at that, also. Hopefully.

"Sir, There is a wall next to you." Too-Jay spoke robotically.

Tahl leaned over and smacked the droid.

…

The next morning…

"Qui-Gon!"

The master turned and saw Tahl running toward him waving some papers in her hand. "What's that?"

"My first story!" She was excited. "I decided to write a newspaper. I'm gonna call it 'Tahl's Tabloid', kinda catchy, ain't it? Or maybe Tahl's Talk."

He took the paper that held a main article about his padawan and had pictures of the boy that he had never seen before. From the looks of it, the pictures looked like they were shopped to make him look evil with a dark cloak that made him look like Xanatos. "Uhm… a fictional alternate universe story?"

"What? No! I write it as I see it!" Then she stopped. "Figuratively speaking of course." she said waving her hand.

So that's what all those questions were yesterday night. He was trying to sleep and she kept annoying him with really weird questions. He had thought it was just a dream, seeing as it was three in the morning when she asked him. He had been awfully grumpy when he had stated his case on the subject, which she seemed to exaggerate on in her 'Tabloid'. Even Obi-Wan's thoughts were exaggerated. He didn't growl at her making him sound like a Sith. He had actually burped and it sounded like a growl. He had finished his three in the morning snack barely a few minutes before she arrived.

"Tahl you can't write these kinds of things."

Tahl seemed insulted. "Why not? You said I was supposed to get a new hobby, you want me to go back to stealing Mace's hair removal shampoo and hiding Yoda's gimer stick on him?"

"NO!" Qui-Gon turned around and saw a large crowd of Jedi behind him with their hands up in a defensive 'STOP' position. They coughed, then looked away and awkwardly scattered.

Qui-Gon looked back to Tahl who had a cocky look on her face. "See?" She asked placing her hands on her hips and lifting her nose into the air triumphantly.

Qui-Gon groaned. "Well at least keep it confined to the Temple alright?"

"Too late." Tahl turned around as she said this and began walking away.

"'Too late'? What do you mean 'too late'?" Qui-Gon asked pursuing her.

"A friend of mine in the senate has a copy. He said it was so interesting that he was going to spread it across the galaxy! He said he'll try and get it officially published by an actual publishing company. He's aiming for Fan Fiction Dot Net Publishing Co. But if he can't get that one, he'll go with Sithstruck Publishing Co.: Slightly smaller but they have published quite a few stories on similar topics! Maybe I can get both!"

Qui-Gon could not believe what he was hearing. He supposed he should go report this to the council. He turned and left.

…

"I don't see a problem." Mace said reading the main article.

Qui-Gon sighed.

"Keeps her out of trouble, it does" Yoda said agreeing while reading his own copy of the Tabloid. In fact as Qui-Gon looked around, the entire council was reading the Tabloid. He supposed there wasn't really any harm in the articles. People knew they weren't true… right?

Somehow he had a feeling this would get out of control.

…

One week later 'Tahl's Tabloid' became the number one selling magazine and newspaper. It became so popular that other magazine and newspaper companies went out of business and tried to sue, but failed because of Tahl's connections in the senate.

…

**Okay so that is the first chapter of this story. I hope you guys liked it. I kind of made it up as I went along. Please R&R! I'll be doing other chapters that correspond with Sithstruck's Tabloid chapters. :3**


	2. Xanatos' Story

Tahl's Tabloid 'Behind the Scenes'

Chapter 2: Xanatos' Story

…

Xanatos's Ghost had followed Qui-Gon back to the Temple. He had attempted haunting him but for some weird reason he just didn't have the knack for it. He tried making objects float to freak out the Jedi… however the master just thought it was his padawan goofing off in the other room. So he ended up giving up and just following people around. Then he saw her. Qui-Gon's girlfriend. Oh how many times he tried flirting… then got burned.

She had become blind due to an accident or torture or because she was looking at Qui-Gon all the time. He didn't know the details but he didn't care. If he could bash Qui-Gon he would. Now in place of her usual missions she was writing a newspaper for the Council… or something like that. And HE was the subject! This was exciting. She was now interviewing people. This was pretty interesting.

He decided to follow her around during her interviews. The stupid droid Too-Jay kept getting in the way. Even though he was a ghost it bugged him.

She knocked on a door. He knew that door but whose was it?

It opened and he saw his former master. This ought to be good.

"Hi Quiggy! I'm doing another article; this one is on Xanatos!"

"Leave me alone!" He slammed the door.

"Man talk about rude!" Xanatos said aloud.

"I know! I guess our date is off tonight… Oh well. I'll take a rain check then make him take me somewhere really expensive."

Xanatos looked at her. Wait she had heard him? "Maybe you should interview me?"

"What do you know about Xanatos?" She asked.

"I AM Xanatos!"

"Uh-huh… right! What are you, back from the dead haunting us?" She asked sarcastically. Then she reached out passed him and grabbed Too-Jay. "Besides Ghosts aren't solid!"

"That's the droid not me!" He growled.

"Wait! Too-Jay you can mimic Xanatos' voice?"

"No, Sir." Too-Jay said.

Xanatos watched as Tahl's face went from interested to confused then on to almost uncaring.

"Quite messin' with me! It must be because of that disk thing that you have in you that Xanatos had planted in you to spy on us."

"GUH!" Xanatos didn't know what to say. Was that even possible? He sighed in an exasperated form and followed after her as she sought her next victim…er I mean interviewee. Xanatos began to wonder if this was a word and then sought out a dictionary. However, it was a guide on HTML. And seeing as he was dead he wasn't about to meet any lady ghosts. Well if he did it wouldn't really matter. He tossed the guide on How To Meet Ladies away hitting a passerby in the head with it and watched as she interviewed Qui-Gon's apprentice, Obi-Wan.

He was reluctant to give any opinion or information. "Qui-Gon doesn't like me talking about his former apprentice to anyone. He doesn't even let me to talk to HIM about He Who Must Not Be Named."

"This isn't Larry Totter!" Tahl said a little impatient.

Xanatos watched as Tahl sighed then fished for her wallet. She pulled out fifty credits and handed them to Obi-Wan. "Here's twenty credits. NOW will you tell me?"

Xanatos chuckled as Obi-Wan eyed the money and said nothing about it being fifty credits and not twenty. He placed it in his back pocket making sure no one was watching. "Well, uhm I sorta knew Xanatos...kinda...yeah, he's a terrible tyrant. And he only killed himself so Qui-Gon woudn't."

Tahl ordered Too-Jay to 'take that down' then moved on. Then stopped dead in her tracks as she heard someone walking nearby. Xanatos saw it was Yoda. He was like a snail or something. Maybe she should do an article on what is Yoda's species. He said this allowed and she said cheerfully. "That's a great idea! Thanks whoever you are! I'll do that later on. I have other stories at the moment. Master YODA!" She said loudly.

Yoda turned and saw the blind Jedi approaching. "Master Tahl," He greeted.

"Tell me! What are you're thoughts on Xanatos?" She asked this eagerly making Xanatos feel quite popular.

"Trusted him, we did not. Arrogant, he was," Yoda said this so bluntly it took the interview party off guard.

Xanatos had been acting arrogantly but when he heard Yoda's words his image shattered. He groaned. "So much for popularity."

Too-Jay looked over and saw another Jedi Master. "Greetings Master Secura. How A-AHH!!" CRASH!

Too-Jay was then shoved aside by Tahl who shouted, "Aayla! Hey Girl! Can I ask you a few questions for my newspaper?"

"Uhm I suppose what do you want to know?"

"What are your thoughts on Xanatos?"

Suddenly Aayla's features changed to look like a day dreaming teenager, which she was not. "Xanatos was a nice guy. He was funny, handsome, cute, handsome, strong, and handsome,"

It went on like that for a while. However Xanatos didn't seem to mind. He enjoyed being praised by others. Especially girls!

"Hey!" Everyone turned and saw Kit Fisto storming over.

"Uh- uhm Gotta go!" Tahl retreated to avoid any scraps between the two.

Xanatos followed as the Master Jedi collided with a blond padawan. "Hey! Oh! Uhm Master Tahl are you okay?"

"Sir!!" Too-Jay began circling around Tahl frantically. "You're on the ground! You're on the ground! "You're on the ground!"

Tahl stood. "Are you worried or are you cheering?"

Too-Jay stopped abruptly and looked at Tahl. "Why neither, I was just being your aid, like I am programmed. I thought you should know your position and where you are."

Xanatos could see Tahl was on the verge of tackling the droid to the ground and beating up on it. However she resisted because she needed Too-Jay to take down the notes.

"Uhm.. Can I go now?" The girl asked.

"Siri!" Tahl said realizing the girl was there, and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Uhm…y-yes?"

"I need your help!" Tahl sounded frantic.

"What? What is it? Are you hurt?" Siri asked worried.

"What? No!" Tahl stood up and became calm and casual. "What are you're thoughts on Xanatos?"

"Oh…" Siri seemed disappointed. "Xanatos? Oh, you mean that jerk that wanted to blow up the Jedi Temple? He's a jerk," She said it bluntly then walked away so she wasn't asked anything else.

Tahl had Too-Jay repeat all their 'evidence' when Master Windu walked up. "Tahl what are you doing?"

Tahl turned. "Mace you're just in time! I need one more opinion for my latest article!"

"Oh Force no!" Mace looked upwards as though the ceiling would aid him in some way. "What do you want to know?"

"About Xanatos, what are you're thoughts, or comments? Was he a Misunderstood Teen or a Terrible Tyrant?"

Mace stared at her for a while. However Tahl didn't notice seeing as she couldn't see. No pun in tended back there. Xanatos was getting impatient. Finally the Master sighed and gave in. "Give the guy a break. Having a master like Qui-Gon would drive anyone mad," Then he walked away.

Xanatos had not expected that.

"Well, I guess that will do it Too-Jay…too bad Xanatos is dead I'd love to interview him." Tahl said walking away with Too-Jay on her heels.

Xanatos stood shocked. "whu...whu... Hey! WAIT!" He chased after the blind master. "I'm here! Interview me! Tahl!"

Xanatos was, however unsuccessful and he swore he'd find a way to get into that stupid tabloid/newspaper/magazine thing!

Turns out Tahl's Talk Tabloid was so popular that the two afore mentioned publishing companies, Fan Fiction Dot Net Publishing Co. and Sithstruck Publishing Co., Both began to publish the Tabloid. Even movie companies like Metoria's Productions created side story comics and holovid specials of the Tabloid. It became so famous that Tahl became a Skajillionaire and was offered retirement from the Jedi order. However she declined. Otherwise she wouldn't have such great stories.

…

HAHA! Please R&R! :3

Chapter 3 will be begun eventually (prolly very soon like in ten or twenty minutes)


	3. Bant's Story

Tahl's Tabloid 'Behind the Scenes'

Chapter 3: Bant's Story

…

"Tahl, this is Bant Eerin. She'll be your aid for today. So Too-Jay can do maintenance on your air conditioner." Mace said introducing the young girl to Tahl.

"Hello." Tahl greeted in a rather bored manner.

Mace left.

"So uhm, Master Tahl is there anything I can do for you."

"Yeah help me come up with a new story for my newspaper."

"Uhm, okay… I know why not do an article on the importance of hygiene." Bant suggested. She wanted to turn this master's rather impolite newspaper into a more helpful thing.

However the blind master stared blankly at where she thought the girl was… however she was staring at her cactus. "No… any other ideas?"

"Uhm… what about… A Natural Disaster Awareness article?"

Tahl said nothing.

"Hmm… Uhm… Oh Master Jinn…"

Tahl perked up. "You think I should do a story on Quiggy... Er I mean Qui-Gon. Yeah! That will teach him for breaking up with over the articles I did on his padawans. At least I think that's why he broke up with me. I could do an article about his secret! YES! His deepest dark secret. It would be so embarrassing that he'd take me back and make me his queen! Then we would rule the galaxy together! And-"

"Master… You're not making any sense… I was just going to say that Qui-Gon wanted his watch back."

"oh… well that's a disappointment." Tahl said handing over the watch then she got curious. "Say…"

"Yes?"

"What race are you?"

"Oh, I'm Mon Calamari." Bant informed.

"Hmm…" Tahl smiled. She jumped to her feet triumphantly and announced…"I have my article! Sort of…"

"Really? What are you going to do it on? Global Warming? Global Cooling? Whether or not we should allow kids to roller blade in the streets? The crime rate of Coruscant?"

"What? No silly! I'll be doing an article on you!" Tahl said pointing to her cactus.

"M-M-Me?" Bant had a bad feeling about this.

"Absolutely! First I need to do some research!"

Bant sighed in relief. At least the master was going to do RESEARCH! It's better to stick to the facts! Then she can educate others in the universe about Mon Calamari. Then people would finally understand her.

"Anything I can do?" Bant asked.

"Not at the moment. Too-Jay, We must go! TO THE LIBRARY!!!" Tahl took the gesture and phrase of a famous superhero who had obsessions over flying rats. She left and Bant exited the Master's apartment to tell her friends the good news.

…

"WHAT?" Qui-Gon nearly screamed. He grabbed Bant by the arms. "You're going to let her?"

"uh-uhm well… I don't see why not I mean…"

"She'll make a mockery of you!" Qui-Gon threw his arms up in the air.

"You can't trust Tahl. I went to her door for Halloween asking for candy and she called me a Sith and slammed the door in my face." Obi-Wan said

"I see…" that put a different light on things… literally Qui-Gon turned off the interrogation lamp and turned on the regular lights. "I'll make sure she get's it right. Don't worry."

When Bant returned to Tahl's apartment Tahl was arguing with Too-Jay. "Well where did you have it last? We need that note pad! All my newspaper ideas are in there!!!"

"Master?" Bant asked entering the room.

"BANT! QUICK! Help me find my note pad!" They began looking all over the room however to no avail. Then there was a knock at the door. Tahl opened it.

"Oh Hi Obi-Wan!" Bant greeted.

Obi-Wan was dressed in a red and white costume with a long white fake beard. Yes he was dressed as Santa.

"Darth Obi-Wan?" Tahl asked.

"Merry Christmas Tahl." Obi-Wan handed her a box and left.

Tahl looked at it! "It's a BOMB!" Tahl handed it to Bant. "Quick get rid of this!"

Bant took it and looked at it. She opened the lid and found a note pad. She sighed. She took the note pad out and tossed the box aside. "Master is this it?" She handed the note pad to Tahl.

"YES! That's it! Thank you!" Tahl then took the pad from Bant.

Bant knew something wasn't right about what happened. Tahl was blind, right? So then… how did she recognize the note pad so easily like that? Oh well…

Tahl then left again and went to the Library.

…

…Three minutes and twelve seconds later….

…

"Yes! That must be it! She's a Squid!" Tahl slammed the book closed.

"Who must be a squid?" Too-Jay asked zooming up next to her where she sat in the archives. Jocasta had been eyeing her. Everyone knew that Tahl was after her job.

"Why Bant of course!"

"The Tuna girl?"

"Squid girl." Tahl corrected. "You see I'm considering taking her as my padawan and I wanted to do a little research about her and her kind. And according to his book she's squid!" Then Tahl added as a side note. "I can also do an article about it as well."

Too-Jay read the spine of the book. "A guide on HTML? But sir, what does a guide on How To Meet Ladies have to do with Bant who is a Mon Calamari?" Xanatos chuckled evilly nearby. "And besides you're blind how did you read it without me?"

Tahl threw the book over her shoulder. "Minor details! Now let us go and start interviewing!"

…

…That Night…

…

Tahl stood at the copy machine. "Too-Jay… how many copies do we have so far?"

"According to my calculations, we have approximately 123,345,567,789 copies." Too-Jay's voice said from beneath all the piles and stacks of paper.

"TAHL!"

The blinded knight and the droid turned to the door to see, or in Tahl's case, hear, Mace Windu's anger.

"What?" Tahl asked not getting it as she was surrounded by the Temple's now used up office supplies. "What did I do?"

Mace sighed. "I thought you had publishing companies who did this for you."

"I like printing stories myself for all my friends." Tahl said to her defense.

"All one trillion of them?" Mace asked not knowing the actual number.

"Actually one hundred twenty three billion, three hundred forty five million, five hundred sixty seven thousand and seven hundred eighty nine." Tahl corrected.

"Point Five." Too-Jay added as the copy machine started another copy.

"Right!" Tahl agreed.

Mace slammed his head on the door frame and then began setting out rules forbidding Tahl from using the Temple office supplies and copy machine which by now was rumbling.

KABOOM!

"Sir! There's a fire next to you!" Too-Jay yelled digging himself or is it herself? Itself! from the paper avalanche. "I'll save you!"

Tahl put the fire out using a fire extinguisher very casually and calmly that when Too-Jay finally arrived at her side the fire was out.

"Sir! I saved you!" Too-Jay said happily… although that happiness sounded like it was toward itself.

"uh huh…" Tahl tossed the fire extinguisher at Too-Jay who failed to catch it. GONG! Too-Jay fell over into the papers and didn't move.

…

Tahl was then banished from the Temple copy room and was forbidden from using the office supplies. She also had to buy the Temple a new, better, copy machine.

"I don't see why I have to. I mean it was old and gonna die anyway…" Says Tahl.

But with her Skajillion credits … Maybe more by now… she could easily afford it.

"I was TRYING to save up to buy the galaxy so Quiggy and I could rule it together!" Tahl said crossly.

Although everyone is pretty sure she could buy it easily with her current income.

…

Okay so this one … I wrote backwards! No lie! I wrote the ending first and then the beginning so if it seems off… sorry!... XD Please R&R!

EDIT: You know what i realized... This is a Fan fic of a Fan fic! XD As long as no one makes a fan fic of this I think we can keep the confusion level to a minimum!


	4. QuiGon's Story

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 4: Qui-Gon's Story

…

Qui and Tahl had made up and were now on a date to make up for their actions.

"I mean how did you come up with those two stereotypes? 'Heartbroken? Or a hippie?' I'm hardly either."

Tahl just rolled her eyes.

Then Didi walked up. "Hey Qui-Gon, Hey- Oh-Stars and GALAXIES! It's Tahl!"

Qui-Gon raised is eyebrow. "What do you mean. Of course it's Tahl!"

Didi ignored him. "I never thought in all my days I'd see you in person!"

"What? Didi, you see Tahl at least once a week!" Qui-Gon said completely confused. "You're acting like she's some famous person, it's just Tahl."

Didi spun around and glared at Qui-Gon. "For your information, that's not just Tahl. That's THE Tahl."

"The Tahl?" Qui-Gon asked questioningly.

"Yes, The famous author of Tahl's Talk!"

Qui-Gon sighed.

"Uhm, Miss Tahl, Oh great and powerful Jedi writer of Tahl's Talk! ?"

"Yes?" Tahl was liking the treatment.

"W-would you sign my copy of your latest issue?" Didi held up a copy that featured Qui-Gon's article in it.

Qui-Gon slammed his head on the table.

"Well, sure!" Tahl happily took the issue and tried to sign her name on it however because she wasn't looking where she was signing, she ended up signing half on the issue, half on the napkin beneath it. "Here, you go!" She winked. Then looked at a glowering Qui-Gon. "What? It's what fans like!"

"Uh-huh…" He was jealous but he wasn't going to admit to it. "Can we order now?"

"I'll have the zesty chicken annihilator and a large root beer!" Tahl said tossing the menu aside seeing (again no pun intended) as she didn't need it.

"I'll have the green salad and a glass of my usual." Qui-Gon said coolly. He noticed Didi smile and walk away taking his issue AND the napkin with him. Maybe they were messing with him.

Then he saw Adi and Siri walk through the door. They noticed him at the table with Tahl. They walked over to the counter and spoke to Didi pointing in the direction of the two.

Tahl of course didn't notice this 'seeing' as she was blind and she'll probably beat me up 'seeing' as I keep pointing that out and using that stupid accidental pun.

ANYWAY…

Didi walked on over to Qui-Gon with their drinks.

Tahl was staring at him dreamily … even though she couldn't see. (HA! I didn't use that pun, see!)

When Didi left, Adi and Siri walked up and waved at him flirtatiously. Qui-Gon glanced over at Tahl who had an angry glare on her face. Did she know they were there?

"Hey there good lookin'." Adi said with a wink.

Tahl pulled forth her fist and knocked Adi unconscious. That was the third time that day that she punched the council member.

Siri saw the event and ran screaming like a sissy dragging her unconscious master behind her.

"Yeah you better run!" Tahl yelled climbing on top of the table. "He's my man! Go get your own!"

Qui-Gon was touched by how loyal she was. "Aww, Tahl, You care about me that much?"

Tahl looked down to where the voice of her beloved was most likely sitting. "Of course!"

"Get down off of that table and let's eat!" (where is that line from?) He said cheerfully.

Tahl leaped off the table crushing the waitress. She took the tray from the girl and placed it on the table bashfully. "I made it myself! I hope you like it!" Tahl then sat across from 'her man' and they began eating.

"It tastes wonderful honey."

From across the room their apprentices were gagging from the sappiness of it all. Garen whispered to Obi-Wan and Bant. "And I wanted to come here to read my book on HTML."

"Yeah! And I wanted to work on my skill with raising spirits from the dead." Bant returned the long sigh that escaped each one of the younglings.

Behind them Xanatos was cheering them on. "Yes! Yes! Corrupt your mind with that book boy! Corrupt it! And yes girl raise my spirit from the dead… well MORE from the dead! So I can REALLY haunt that man and get Tahl to FINALLY let me into her tabloid!" He looked to the children and found they were missing. He looked up and saw them walking out of the eatery utterly disgusted by the actions of their masters. "Hey wait for me!" Xanatos followed.

Qui-Gon looked over and saw his apprentice leave with some friends. "Why master what a coincidence seeing you here!" Then Obi-Wan left.

Qui-Gon tried to slam his head on the table but it ended up in his plate of food.

"Hi Obi-Wan!" Tahl said waving cheerfully then stopped. "I sense a great evil around you! You ARE a Sith!" Then she left the eatery shortly after the children.

Qui-Gon sat there utterly confused about what the heck was going on.

"So… You're a heartbroken hottie?" Siri asked coming out of nowhere.

The shout of Tahl in the distance sent the child running for her life. "Touch him and you're dead!"

….

**Yeah this one is shorter than the others…. By about a page and a half… but I hope you guys liked it! :3 I KIND OF incorporated the story Just a Coincidence also by Sithstruck! XD**

**I hope you guys liked this! Please R&R**

**Oh and that line up above "Get down off that table and eat!" Where is that line from!!?!?!?!?! WAIT I know where it's from! XD The Charlie Brown Broadway Musical! Okay Never mind!**

**Please R&R**


	5. Yoda's Story

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 5: Yoda's Story

**… (I'm getting tired of writing that kind of a title to a chapter.. I'll change that! … NEXT TIME)**

…

Tahl was in urgent care in critical condition. At least to her. Due to her recent article, a council member, lost his temper and attacked her. Not really. Yoda just smacked her with his gimer stick a couple times.

"Can you believe it! I'm supposed to be writing my famous newspaper and he gets an attitude!" She complains to Qui-Gon. Tahl had insisted that Yoda get severe punishment from the Council for his actions against her. He was now on trial and Tahl was awaiting the verdict of GUILTY!

"Well, it was kind of insulting." Qui-Gon said trying to reason with her.

"What do you mean? Who wouldn't want to be a dinosaur! They're Hardcore yo!"

Qui-Gon said nothing at first then said, "Well calling him a troll is an insult."

"Well, he looks like one!" Tahl said urgently to her defense.

Then they heard a shuffling coming down the hall from the council room. Yoda was coming down the hall.

"Master," Qui-Gon bowed respectfully.

"You!" Tahl pointed dramatically.

"Want to see you, the Council does." Yoda said simply.

Tahl smiled evilly and walked down the hall to the council room walking overly dramatically, arrogantly.

"In trouble, she is?" Qui-Gon asked.

"In trouble, she is." Yoda confirmed with a smirk.

Tahl walked into the Council room. "So what is the punishment?"

"We have to pre-read your articles before you publish them." Mace said.

"Huh? What does that have to do with Yoda?"

"You're the one who is in trouble. You can't keep writing these kinds of articles."

Tahl said nothing. She'd show them. They were lucky that she was currently working on another article, but just wait.

Tahl left the Council room and found Qui-Gon still waiting for her. "They said they have to pre-read my articles before I get the published! Can you believe that?"

"Oh Tahl, there's one more thing…" Adi walked up to the two in the hall.

"What?"

"As an extra form of punishment, I get to go out on a date with Qui-Gon." Adi said wrapping her arm around his and yanking him to her side.

Qui-Gon had a feeling she was only saying that. She was abusing her power of being a council member so she could get a date with him. And who would argue with a Council member? Why, Tahl of course. Qui-Gon slipped from her grip just in time to avoid getting in the scrap between the two women.

The rest of the Council rushed out of the room in time to see Tahl straddling Adi and punching the life out of her.

Mace ran up to Qui-Gon. "What's going on?"

Qui-Gon really didn't want people to know that women fought over him… it would be awkward... Well it already was. "Uhm… Adi called her fat." Women fought over that kind of stuff right?

"What! You try to steal my man AND you call me fat?" Tahl yelled. "Taste the fury of my fists!!!!" Tahl began punching Adi even harder and faster until finally she was restrained.

It took ten of the council members to hold her back, Mace was trying to revive Adi and Yoda was just looking on with Qui-Gon.

Adi was then sent to the healing ward where she would spend the remainder of the day. Tahl was sent to her room escorted by the twelve council members and Qui-Gon. She was to remain there the rest of the day. That was fine by her she had some articles to write! But first!

Tahl booted up her computer and began photoshopping pictures of people for the Tabloid.

"Hey Too-Jay! What do you think? Should I give Adi a bald spot? Or snakes coming out of her head?"

Too-Jay zoomed up beside her. "Hmm Why not both?"

"Great Idea!" Tahl began searching for pictures of really gross snakes on the holonet. She glanced over to her aid. "Too-Jay what are you doing?"

Too-Jay looked up at her. "Oh I'm reading this new book. A weird ghosty figure told me that if I read this I'd be the best aid ever!" Tahl asked what the title was. "'A Guide on HTML: The best book to read if you want to learn How To Meet Ladies'."

Weird…

"Okay, I wont complain if it makes you a better aid!"

Tahl heard a creepy voice off in the distance laugh. The laugh kind of sounded like Xanatos' but he was dead so it couldn't have been him.

"Man what a bummer that was."

"What?" Too-Jay asked

"A lot of things. Mainly the fact that I got in trouble…" Tahl's 'angst' was quickly replaced by sheer evil glee. "But that will all change! Bahahhahahahahahahahahha!!!!"

Tahl's evil laughter soon drowned out Xanatos', who was trying to get her attention.

"What is with this woman!" Xanatos sighed and moved on hearing Tahl's evil laughter turn into a coughing fit then what sounded like gagging and eventual choking. He could hear Too-Jay giving her the I'm-Sick maneuver while freaking out. He ignored it though. Not like he could do anything.

…

The next day, Tahl went to the council submitting her next article. They read it over and said it seemed alright. They noticed she had a kind of calm I-know-something-you-don't-know look on her face as she handed it to them (it kind of looked like this [l:3]) and waited with her hands placed behind her back as she waited while they read it.

"Seems alright." Mace said handing it back to the creepy faced woman.

"Very-Good." She purred.. Which was also pretty creepy. She glanced over at Adi who was waving flirtatiously and batting her eye lashes at someone. Tahl looked. It was Qui-Gon. "ADI DIE!" Tahl leaped on the female Council member, attacking at full strength.

The men ran for their lives and girls stayed the watch the fight. Padawans and women surrounded the two fighters and chanted "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

In the end Tahl was the triumphant one. She was then placed however into the healing ward where she was receiving urgent care due to her fight. She was now REALLY in critical care… not really. But she did have to stay there for a day. Adi was there for a week though.

…

**Yes… the I'm-Sick Maneuver is the Heimlich Maneuver… XD**

**Silly me!**

**Please R&R you know I love it!**


	6. Brothers or Brothers? Oh and Revenge!

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 6: Brothers? Or Brothers?

…

Garen and Obi-Wan both leaned over the same issue of Tahl's Talk then looked at one another. They eyed each other up and down. They stood up at the same time in a synchronized form. Twins did that. Whoa!

They quickly ran out of the gardens where they were sitting and ran to the only one who they knew could help them. "BANT!" They cried in unison.

She opened her door just as they skidded to stop in front of it. "I knew you two would be here when you read that article!"

They looked at one another. "You knew we were reading it?"

She nodded proudly. "I know all! My skills at raising spirits from the dead are growing!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… Can we borrow your mirror." Garen said waving his hand dismissively and letting himself in.

"You mean you don't want my help?" Bant asked disappointedly.

"What do you mean? You are helping! Why would a guy have a huge mirror like this?" He said indicating the large full body mirror that could fit four people in it's reflection.

He and Obi stepped before it and began inspecting. They got very close and began putting breath marks and smudges on the mirror.

Bant stood in the background with a face that looked like she was going to punch them. [-.-]

Garen began focusing less on Obi-Wan and more on himself. "Wow I'm good lookin'."

Obi-Wan smiled. "And if we're twins that means I'm good lookin'!" Obi-Wan began admiring himself as well.

"You two are so conceited!" Bant rolled her eyes and went back to her necromancy. "Oh spirits of the underworld! Come forth and speak to us!"

"GIRL! It is I Xanatos!" Said a creepy voice.

Bant jumped and the two boys spun around.

"Santa?" Bant asked.

"NO XANATOS! Where did you get Santa from?"

"Well… you see I… No I don't want to talk about it." Bant said dramatically.

The two boys plopped at the desk and Xanatos' figure also … uh …'sat'. The three boys sat waiting to hear an amazing story.

Bant had no choice… "Well you see… it was on Christmas Eve, I saw him in his slay coming to land on the Temple to come down the chimney…"

"The Temple doesn't have a Chimney." Garen said.

"I know! May I continue?"

"Sure."

"Well, he couldn't find a chimney so I tried to get his attention with fireworks. However little did I know that they were actually top secret homing missiles that locked on to Santa's slay and blew him out of the sky!"

"I was wondering what that was!" Garen said thinking back.

"Yeah and then I had to do his job!" Obi-Wan said, "Speaking of which how did Tahl like her gift?"

"She loved it." Bant said unemotionally. "That's not the point!"

"You killed him and you want to apologize?" Xanatos asked.

"Oh no he's alive... I killed his reindeer…" Bant said.

"Then why did you think he was Santa?"

"Reindeer can't talk." Bant said in a No-Duh matter!

The boys said nothing. They looked at one another and turned to her door. In a single file line the three boys filed out.

"You guys!" Bant watched them leave then turned back to her crystal ball. On her desk was a book. "That wasn't there before." She picked it up and read the title. "A Guide on HTML?" She opened the book momentarily then closed it and threw it as hard as she could at the retreating boys. "Boys…"

"Ow!" Garen yelled from where he was lying on the ground. "Who threw that?"

"Santa!" Then Bant closed her door.

"Girls…" Obi said helping Garen up.

"I will never understand them." Xanatos said. "Even with this…" He said holding up the HTML guide.

Obi-Wan looked at Garen who wasn't paying attention. He smiled like a cute little kitten and lunged at Garen. "BROTHER!!!!!" [X3]

Garen let out a cry. "GAH!"

Obi tackled him to the ground and began purring and nudging his 'brother' like a little kitten.

Xanatos ran from the scene.

…

Tahl sat in her room… still grounded. The room was dark the only lighting was the computer screen she was using to publish her articles. Her eyes were glowing like psycho diamonds and she had a deranged smile on her face, almost like a Cheshire Cat. "Forget the code!" She said adding the poorly photoshopped pictures and put the articles in that Too-Jay had typed up. "Revenge is on the way! And when Quiggy reads this he will never show interest in Adi!" Evil maniacal laughter could be heard all over the Temple.

…

Adi sat in her room adding to her Broad shouldered boy/girlfriend shrine that was hidden in her closet, when she felt a warning from the force. She stood quickly, closed her closet and ignited her light saber. Maniacal laughter entered her room and surrounded her! Then it lunged! "Noooo!!!!!!!" She screamed!

…

The Next morning…

…

Mace stood outside the crime scene. Adi's room was taped off with "DO NOT CROSS" tape and a chalk drawing was on floor from where they removed the body. Outside the room Adi was being taken away in handcuffs. "No please! Let me plead my case!"

"You already have! You're being charged with murdering a defenseless laugh, stalking an esteemed Jedi Master, and assaulting a blinded Jedi Master who is partly insane. Take her away!"

Emotionless men in black suits and dark sunglasses took Adi and dragged her away.

"Sir!" A young rookie investigator approached Mace. "What should I do with this?" He held up a shrine like thing.

"I'll take care of that…" Mace then took the Broad shouldered boy/girlfriend shrine and walked away. When he got far enough away, he sprinted to his room and slammed the door shut. "Phew! That was a close one." He opened his closet and placed the shrine among others that he had confiscated to add to his own.

…

Back in Tahl's room.

…

Tahl spun in her swivel chair gleefully. "I'll take them all out! That will show them!" Tahl then sent a message to her friend in the senate asking that he publish the next issues in secret from the Jedi.

He agreed.

She smiled evilly Then she heard a knock on her door. She opened it and saw Qui-Gon. "Quiggy!"

"Are you responsible for what happened to Adi?"

Tahl looked confused. "Adi? What happened?" She hadn't published her articles JUST yet.

When Qui-Gon left, Tahl went back to her swivel chair. She barely got through half an evil laugh when someone knocked on her door again. She gasped happily. "Quiggy has come back to me!" She opened the door and screamed! "SITH!!!!!" She slammed the door.

Obi-Wan stood in a bunny suit. "I just wanted to know if she wanted to join in the egg hunt." He hopped away.

At his side was a smaller bunny with long green pointy ears who said, "Party pooper, she is."

"Yeah…"

…

:o

HAHA please R&R!


	7. Mace's Shrine

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 7: Mace's Shrine

…

Mace sat in the council room surrounded by the other council members. Adi had gotten off easy. Turns out she has friends in the senate as well. She asked Mace about her shrine he denied knowing anything. However she was on to him and to make it worse. Tahl had published articles without his knowledge. And what's worse is the latest article was about him! Something told him she was getting back at him for forcing her to submit her articles to him before she could publish them.

Yoda was sitting next to him reading the tabloid and HIS article! A smirk played on the green troll's lips.

Mace sighed. "So what are we going to do about her?"

"I don't see a problem…" Adi said looking at the photoshopped picture of Mace with an Afro.

She knew didn't she… that he took that shrine. "Well, what happens when she writes an article about you?"

"We women have very tough hides. Unlike you men!" Ouch. She knew he had it.

"Right well uhm… I have to go check on some things." Mace scurried out of the Council room and bamboozled up to his room. He whipped open his closet and his entire shrine was gone. "NOOOOO!"

…

Back in the Council room

…

"Nooooo!!!!"

Yoda looked up from where he was reading the Tabloid.

"Did you guys hear something?" Ki-Adi asked.

"Nope…" Adi said coolly.

Everyone looked at her kind of nervously. She was getting as psycho as Tahl. Was it a woman thing? Or was there an illness going around?

…

Tahl was going down the hall in her swivel chair being pulled along by Too-Jay and Bant who where on roller blades… well Bant was on roller blades.

"Sir! Stairs 3.456907 meters ahead!"

"Then go faster!" Tahl commanded.

Bant and Too-Jay exchanged a glance.

"WAH!"

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Tahl went flying off of the swivel chair and went head first into a decorative bush/tree thing.

Masters ran forward to help Tahl out of the tall bush.

"Tahl are you alright?" Qui-Gon asked from where he was beneath her.

She looked down from where she was hanging over a branch by her abdomen. "Yeah why?"

Qui-Gon sighed. Was she back to her crazy stunts and pranks again? "Why were you doing that?" He asked helping her down.

"Because it was fun!" She said in a 'DUH' manner. "And because I thought I'd get some inspiration for the next few articles."

Qui-Gon sighed again.

"AND… because I'm on my way to meditate with Yoda."

"But what does that have to do with-"

"'Nuff Said!" She said holding up her hand and getting back into her chair to be dragged away by her two servants-I mean aids.

Bant sighed and continued on.

Qui-Gon watched as Tahl turned a corner and nearly wiped out again. He looked up into the bush/tree thing and saw something strange. It looked like a shrine of some kind.

…

Obi-Wan and Garen watched as Tahl crashed into a tree like Fred of the Jungle. They nearly laughed so hard that they busted a gut. Instead they busted something else.

They were watching and laughing as Tahl was taken off by Bant and Too-Jay. Qui-Gon pulled something out of the tree where Tahl had landed and walked over to the boys. He placed it on a pedestal nearby and walked off. The boys however weren't paying attention and they stepped back and bumped into the pedestal. They turned just in time to see it fall and shatter into a bajillion pieces. They looked at one another. "Oh sith spit!" They looked around to make sure no one was watching and Garen quickly picked up the pieces. Obi-Wan replaced it with a book on HTML and they scadoodled out of there.

They ran to Garen and Clee's apartment and slammed the door behind them.

"What did you do?" Clee asked from where she sat on the couch. A 'Tahl's Talk' Tabloid was sitting in front of her.

"Master, we broke this and we don't want to get in trouble! Will you help us fix it?" Garen asked.

"Hold on, let me get some glue." she said calmly.

"You do NOT want to put that back together." Everyone looked up and saw the ghostly figure of Xanatos at the kitchen table.

"Why not."

"Because… It's an obsession shrine…"

"Of what?"

And Xanatos explained.

"EWWWWW!!!" Garen and Obi said in unison clinging to each other in fear.

Clee just shook her head. "Some people…"

…

Mace and Adi were at war. "You took my shrine!" Adi accused.

"Well you stole it back along with MY shrine!" Mace pointed.

"What no I didn't!" Adi pulled forth her light Saber

"Look fishy squid head-"

"Baldy-locks!"

And so they continued on like this for a while… meanwhile Tahl sat in her safe little room smirking all the while. (That's a lot of whiles…)

Little did they know that SHE was the one who stole it and planted it in that tree for Qui-Gon to find and place away for the boys to break so they could destroy it once and for all with the help of a ghost that Tahl had not predicted in her calculations.

…


	8. EPIC BATTLE

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 8: EPIC BATTLE!

…

"I do NOT wear shrimp on my head!" Adi yelled as she stood before the council holding Tahl by the arm so she couldn't get away.

Mace was smirking from where he sat. "What happened to 'Women have tough hides'?"

Adi glared at him and he glared back.

It was pretty tense in the council room. Qui-Gon stood on Adi's Left while Tahl was being held on the right.

"I do not carry cocktail sauce in my robes see?" She whipped open her robe in a flasher style. Luckily nothing was seen.

Tahl looked from where she stood. "You have big hips…" She said casually.

"Guh!" Adi looked offended and clearly upset. "Do I?" she looked at her hips then looked behind her to her butt. "Is it the robe?"

Tahl stood thinking contemplating if it was indeed the robe.

"Adi…You're butt isn't big." Qui-Gon said.

"How would you know?" Tahl asked jealously evident in her voice. "Have you looked at it?"

"! Qui-Gon was checking me out! I'm so happy!!!" Adi said like an obsessed fan girl.

"Qui-Gon!" Tahl said appalled.

"What no!" He had talked himself into a corner.

"In trouble, you are. Run you should!" Yoda said giving some pretty good advice.

The only problem was that there were two obsessed women blocking his way to the door… sooo what did he do?

CRASH!

He jumped out a window. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I forgot we were in the tower!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!"

THUMP! ZOOM!

"Huh?" He had landed in a speeder. He looked up and there driving was Siri.

"Hey, hon!" She said gleefully and touched his face.

"AH!" He leaped out of the speeder.

"Awwww…" Siri said with disappointment.

"AHHH!!!!" Qui-Gon fell some more.

THUMP! ZOOM!

"Huh?" He looked up and there driving THIS speeder was Clee. "Eek!"

"Oh relax! I have no intention of hitting on you." She said turning the corner.

Qui-Gon relaxed and looked around… apparently the latest trend was Viking helmets, because just about everyone was wearing them. EVEN CLEE!

The speeder jerked and wouldn't go forward. Qui-Gon and Clee turned around to see Adi floating in mid air with her uhm ... Tentacle head dress thingy shooting tentacles out and grabbing the speeder.

"Oh SITH!" Clee said trying to floor it. However a tentacle yanked her out and then grabbed Qui-Gon who squealed like a girl.

Adi tossed Clee off into on coming traffic. "YEAK!" She fell a short distance before landing in a speeder. She looked up to see Garen was driving with Obi-Wan and Xanatos in the other seats. "Don't worry master I got you!"

"Oh thank the Force!" Clee said sitting up

Obi-Wan watched as his master was taken hostage by the Squid monster. "Should we go back for-"

"Heck no!" Clee said

"Yeah! It's their problem!" Xanatos said as he saw Tahl come out with a robotic monster, that looked like Too-Jay, fighting it out over a broad shouldered man. It kind of reminded them of Monster-Zilla or King Wrong!

"Yeah you're right…" Garen said turning them to the direction of the Monster Speeder competition that was going to begin any minute. "Let's go watch some destruction."

Everyone cheered.

…

Yoda, Mace and the other council members watched from the council room where the window dropped a small shard of broken glass breaking the silence that was in the room but wasn't audible to the screeching of the crazy women outside.

"Anyone want to go to that Monster Speeder competition?" Ki Adi asked.

"Go, I will!" Yoda said raising his little arm.

The others raised their arms, except Mace, and they ventured off to watch some destruction.

Mace however stood by to watch as Adi got her just desserts.

…

Wee-Woo-Wee-Woo….

Adi was lying in the Ambulance her tentacle head was over stretched and she was beaten pretty bad. She had a splitting head ache too… or maybe she had a crack in her head dress.

Tahl was triumphant once again and was able to keep her man as she clung to his arm as they watched Adi being taken away by an ambulance.

"Oh my Quiggy Wiggy, I wuv you sooo much!" She said nudging his arm.

"Today has been a long day." He said tiredly.

Then they turned to see a group of Jedi and younglings coming into the Temple talking about how cool the Monster Speeder competition was.

Garen and Obi-Wan had their left arms in slings.

"What happened?" Tahl asked.

"Uhm… We got hit by a Monster Speeder." Garen said.

"I think they did it intentionally." Obi-Wan said. He also had his head bandaged. "Garen was cussing at them and calling them names."

"Well it was true!"

"Until he hit you." Clee said rolling her eyes.

"Well… Yeah… but I don't remember that part…" Garen said rubbing his head.

…

Meanwhile Tahl's Talk Tabloid became even more popular than ever because of the latest articles.

…

And they all Lived Happily Ever After… until the next day.

…

**HAHA! Monster-Zilla is obviously Godzilla, King Wrong is King Kong and Monster Speeder competitions is obviously Monster Trucks! XDXD**

**Hope you guys liked please R&R.**


	9. I have no idea

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 9:

…

Tahl hadn't expected Adi to freak out so badly when she read the Squid Shrimp headdress article. But it was worth it. Her final stage of revenge was underway. And the Council could do nothing about it!

Qui-Gon walked into her hospital room where she was in a full body cast after she was attacked by a raging bantha that had escaped the zoo. "QUIGGY!!! You've come to visit me!" She squealed.

"Yes, dear! I brought you flowers! ACHOO!" he said sneezing into the elegant bouquet and blowing all the pedals away.

"Oh you are so kind! ACHOO!" She sneezed them back at him.

"Would you care to play a came or Parcheesi?" He asked holding up a rather battered game box.

"I'D LOVE TO!" She shouted happily flailing about.

"Yay!" Qui-Gon pulled out the Parcheesi board, the chess pieces, and the poker chips.

"Oh but hon,"

Qui-Gon looked up. "Yes my little cuddle fish?"

"No cheating this time."

"What do you mean I never cheat!"

Tahl lifted his sleeve and a bunny fell out. "You never cheat huh?"

"Guh! How-how did that get in there?" He said looking the other way.

…

Mace and Adi stood face to face… They were going to resolve this conflict calmly… Or at least try to resolve it calmly.

"Alright Adi let's call a truce. The reason I took the shrine was because no one should worship my broad shouldered girlfriend but me!"

"What? Broad shouldered girlfriend? My shrine was of a broad shouldered man who I want to be me boyfriend!" She paused and blushed. "AKA: Qui-Gon."

Ahh… the power of miscommunication and misunderstanding.

"Oh… really? My bad. But then if you didn't take it… who did?"

"Who else?"

The two snapped their heads to the corner where a dark figure lurked.

Tahl jumped out alarmed. "Who me? Hahahah.." She laughed nervously. "Don't be silly. I'm mopping floor. Yup, just mopping the floor… la-lala-lala." she grabbed a mop from nearby and began mopping the floor innocently.

Adi and Mace looked at one another. "I thought you were in the healing ward?"

"I'm all better yup, all better."

SNAP!

Tahl stopped. "My back…" She limped away hunched over.

"You sound like Yoda…" Mace said pointedly.

"Macy Darling!"

Mace turned and smiled happily. "Darling!" He ran to where a broad shouldered person stood. The girls watched but couldn't get a glimpse of their face.

"Must be his broad shouldered girlfriend." Adi remarked.

"Only Mace would have that kind of taste."

Adi laughed. "You're terrible."

"You better believe it!"

Together the girls left to find Adi a new obsession other than Qui-Gon.

…

Meanwhile…

"Seriously… what should we do with it. Now that we know what it is…" The boys stared at the now kind of fixed shrine.

"Yuck... I can't believe grownups have these things." Garen remarked sticking his tongue out.

"Hey not all grownups have those. Just the messed up ones." Clee said from the other room.

"Tahl doesn't have one?" Obi-Wan commented.

"How do you know that?" Clee said poking her head around the corner.

The boys looked at one another. "She's too cool." They said in unison.

"And besides," Obi added. "I was in her closet, I didn't see any shrine."

"What were you doing in her closet?" Garen asked shocked.

"I was trying to find Qui-Gon's watch when they broke up." Obi explained casually.

Garen didn't buy it but he'd let it go for now.

"Hey guys…" Xanatos said walking in. "Ugh! You still have that thing!"

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Everyone turned. "Who is it?" Clee asked.

"Adi! I thought we could have a girls day out today. Mace's Broad shouldered Girlfriend is buyin'!"

"Uhm sounds great." Clee said opening the door.

"GASP! Clee!!! YOU STOLE IT?" Adi exclaimed.

Clee raised an eyebrow. "Stole what?"

Adi pointed into the apartment at the shrine.

"What that? The boys accidentally broke it and brought it back here to fix. Why is it yours?" Clee went over and took the shrine off where it was sitting on the table and handed it to Adi who ran away after she had it in her hands. "I guess we aren't going out today…" Clee closed her door and turned to face he boys. "Problem solved." she looked at Xanatos whose ghostly figure was lounging on the coach. "And Xanatos, if you're going to be staying with us you can at least make yourself useful."

"But, why? I can't do anything anyway… I'm a ghost.. I don't mooch I'm just chillin' here."

"That's true…" Clee said thoughtfully.

…

In the Council Room the Council members discussed important topics.

"oh man and Garen was totally checkin' out my padawan!" Said one master.

"Like no way!" Another said.

"Like So totally Way!"

"Hey we have to plan the lunch menu yet."

Every one voiced off some random meal and it was written down on a data pad and sent to the cafeteria.

"What's next on the agenda?"

"Well I need a shave." Mace said indicating his head.

"Hey who had the Sabacc pieces?"

"Does the Republic know about that top secret clone army that is being planned on being made on Kamino?"

"I think Palpatine does but he hasn't said anything."

"Oh and We're sending Tahl on a long mission far away right? Adi print out the waiver forms."

"You got it."

"And while Tahl is gone we can make fun of Qui-Gon even more!"

The council laughed.

Plo Koon looked at his chore list. "Hey Mace, it looks like you're cleaning the private bathroom this week."

"Aww Sith!"

"In need the Republic is," Yoda started. "Of a janitor for the senate building."

"Hmm… we could give it to Tahl."

"Are you kidding? She'll beat up the senators or end up mopping them."

"That and she's supposed to go on the other mission remember. We're sending her to the far end of the galaxy.

"Oh yeah…"

"We could give it to Qui-Gon!"

"Yeah and have more reason to make fun of him!"

"YEAH!" The council cheered.

…

And so Tahl was sent on a mission far away…

…


	10. Parcheesi! Yay!

Chapter 10:

…

Tahl had been sent on a mission. The Tabloid was on hold until she got back… or at least that's what she thought.

Qui-Gon broke into her room and went to her computer. He typed it up. This was too easy. He printed it off and ran to her publishers.

"Well, I don't know I mean, she never mentioned that she had any partner."

"You WILL publish this article." Qui-Gon said using the Force.

"I Will publish this article."

And so it was.

Qui-Gon walked back to the Temple completely satisfied with himself.

"Qui-Gon it's done?" Mace asked.

"It's done!" Qui-Gon nodded.

"Oh Thank the Force!" Mace said thanking the ceiling.

They walked to the Council room. "So now… as for immaturity…"

"She's insane that's what she is." Adi said. "She was what tortured and that's' why she's blind? Or was it because she had to look at Qui-Gon all the time?"

"That isn't the point!" Qui-Gon said harshly.

"The point is that we have to seriously consider her mental stability." Mace clarified. "She's gone off the deep end and we have to find a way to fix it."

"So if she's insane.. Why did we send her on a mission to the far end of the galaxy?" Ki Adi asked.

"To get her out of our hair."

Everyone looked at Mace's bald head.

He sighed. "Figuratively speaking."

The door to the council room opened and Yoda walked in. "Crazy she is not. At least not overly."

Tahl walked in behind him. "Qui-Gon you are in sooo much trouble."

"Well if she isn't crazy what is she?" Adi asked.

"Bored out of my mind that's what. And doing articles on you people is a load of fun!"

"But none of it is true!"

"Says you…" Tahl said stubbornly. "You're all to vain to see the truth!"

"So how do you have Yoda on your side?"

"Psh! Who messes with a T-Rex?" Tahl said waving her had in a 'What-ever' form. "Besides! He isn't vain. He knows he's a T-Rex!"

Everyone smacked their foreheads. She didn't make any sense what so ever.

…

Back in Clee's apartment She, Garen, Obi and Xanatos were playing Parcheesi. They were playing to make Xanatos feel better. He wanted to get into Tahl's Tabloid somehow. But no one, either, knew he was there or didn't like him.

"Tahl didn't see me! And Qui-Gon doesn't like me so he ignored me and wouldn't let me into the Tabloid this time either! He could have easily interviewed me, but refused!!!" He said bawling his eyes out.

"It's okay man!" Garen consoled. "I feel for you!"

Xanatos dropped his head into his arms and wept.

"Can we play? You're getting the board all wet with your sorrow." Clee said picking up the board and drying it off.

"So wait… does this mean he's a misunderstood teen?" Obi asked.

"That's a good question." Clee said placing the pieces back on.

"Or maybe Death is finally getting to him." Garen pointed out.

Xanatos said nothing as he blew his nose.

"Hey… wait a minute…" Garen looked at the board. "I was further ahead than that!" He looked at Clee.

"Oh.. Heh.. Were you? My bad… I can't keep all these pieces straight."

Garen placed his pieces in the right place.

"I have a question…" Obi said rolling the dice.

"Huh?" Everyone said in unison.

"Why do Tahl and Qui-Gon play with poker chips, chess pieces and a rabbit?"

"That's a good question." Clee said secretly switching the dice with the loaded dice she had in her pocket.

"I saw that!" Garen said pointing at his master.

"Whu whu? Saw what?" She said switching the dice back.

"Hey! You're cheating!" Xanatos said.

"But I'm losing!!!! I'm not supposed to lose!" She said desperately.

The boys pounced. "AH!"

Qui-Gon opened the door and took the board while the four were scuffling on the floor then ran back to his room where he and Tahl were having their date.

"Hey hon! You get it?" She asked as he walked in.

"You bet! And I didn't have to slice them in half this time." he said cheerfully.

"What?" Tahl's smile disappeared.

"Nothing." He said remaining in his cheerfulness.

"Uhm okay…" She pulled the rabbit out of her sleeve and placed a waistcoat and a pocket watch on it. "Rabbit is ready."

Qui-Gon placed the poker pieces in his eyes like they were monocles and put the chess pieces up his nose and in his ears. Now he and Tahl were even. The rabbit hovered in mid air above the board by the Force that was being used on it by the two. Whoever lost control and dropped it first lost.

…

The four got up off the floor. "Ow… I think I have a bruise." Garen commented looking at his elbow.

"I didn't know you bite when you fight Obi." Clee said rubbing her ankle.

"Sorry…"

They looked to the table.

"Hey…Where'd the board go?" Xanatos asked.

"Qui-Gon and Tahl must have taken it!" Clee said clenching her fists.

"Those fiends!" Garen said shocked.

Obi, Clee and Xanatos looked at him. "Who says 'fiends' anymore…?"

"I read it in a comic book." He said shyly twiddling his thumbs.

"Oh."

…

Yeah I know EXTREMELY LAME… I was drawing a blank!!! I couldn't help it! Please R&R! :D


	11. Dating and Dueling

Chapter 11: Dating?

…

Obi-Wan walked down the hallway his study books held on the side of his body with one arm. Garen and Xanatos on his flanks. He walked ahead not looking at anyone.

The girls at their lockers swooned when he walked passed them. "He's so hawt!" they would say.

The boys at their lockers dropped their books and hid in their lockers afraid the Sith boy would get them.

All the while he was wondering. 'When did the Temple get lockers?'

However the bad boy music came to screeching halt when they saw Siri in front of them flanked by her girls, Bant, and…. Reeft?

"Reeft what the heck are you doing on the girl's side?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Shi promshed me shweetsh."

"Can you not speak with your mouth full?" Garen asked impatiently.

Reeft gulped his food down his throat. "She promised me sweets." he said simply.

The boys grumbled.

Just then Tahl ran by with Too-Jay and a notepad. "Tell me you two… Are you dating?" She asked Obi and Siri.

"Eww! No way!" they said in unison.

"I prefer the strong silent type." she said fluffing her hair.

Garen nudged Obi-Wan aside. "I'm the strong silent type."

Siri eyed him. "No you're not, you're the weak babbling type."

Garen had never had his heart broken before. He sulked back to the boys, who patted him on the back and gently told him everything would be okay.

"Pft, boys are such jerks." She said cruelly.

"Oh yeah well girls have cooties!" Obi-Wan accused.

The crowd gasped.

"Oh yeah…" She walked up and slapped Obi-Wan across the face.

The crowd gasped. Then at hearing the crowd gasp Tahl gasped.

"Obi-Wan I challenge you to a duel!" She said fiercely.

"Ooowwww…" Obi-Wan whined. "Did you have to hit me?" He asked in a choked sob as his eyes watered.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you THAT hard!" she said sympathetically.

"S'okay…" Obi-Wan said holding the side of his face.

Siri sighed, Guys were such wimps. "So are we gonna duel or what?"

"I think I can arrange it!" Master Cin Drallig said stepping forward before Obi-Wan could get out of it.

…

The two kids stood on either side of the arena facing each other.

Tahl stood next to Cin, with Too-Jay next to her. The other Younglings stood all around the arena watching and cheering the kids on.

Garen and Xanatos stood behind Obi and had their 'Team Obi' hats on and towels around their necks standing as their friends managers.

Siri's friends, Bant and Reeft stood behind Siri as her managers wearing 'Team Siri' hats.

"Alright you two you know the drill the first one to strike wins!" Cin said. "Go!"

As the padawans raced toward each other Cin took advantage of Tahl's blindness and 'accidentally' bumped into her causing her to fall into a pile of training droids. They were activated and stormed onto the battlefield. "Like oh, no, training droids are out of control on the battlefield! What ever will we do?" He said with false worry and bad acting.

Siri and Obi turned and faced the on coming droids. "HIYA!" they charged the droids and annihilated them in seconds.

"YES!" Cin cheered. "get that down Get that down!" he said ordering Too-Jay around.

"Could somebody help me!!" Tahl cried from the pile of droids.

"Oh right!" Cin pulled her out and she immediately left. "you'll put that in your article right? I want to look good in front of the council. Hey Tahl wait!"

In the end… Garen won the battle between Obi and Siri… mostly because he was mad at her for calling him weak and babbling.

And they all lived happily ever after… until the next day…

…

**You would not believe how much my mind wandered when I wrote this! XD I know it was pretty lame.. **

**But then again so was the last one.. I'll try harder! Honest!**


	12. Getting Ready for the SAFHPMBOR

Chapter 12: Getting Ready for the SAFHPMBOR

**You have no idea how long it took me try and get that right… well it wasn't THAT long… but I did have to retype it about 3 times. XD**

…

The girls stood in the department store staring at all the beautiful dresses. Even Tahl… who couldn't see.

Siri and Bant ran to the younger girl's dresses. Bant pulled out a frilly blue mermaid styled dress and Siri pulled out a sleek red one. "Perfect!"

However the older women were having a bit more trouble.

Tahl picked up a stylish green dress with a modest slit on the right side. "How about this one?" Unfortunately because of her blindness she had to reply on Adi.

"Ugh, that ghastly thing?" Adi tugged it away. She handed Tahl a dress with too many frills and ribbons and looked like something an old woman would wear. "Here, this one is so you!"

"Oh really?" Tahl said holding it.

"Yeah." Adi then examined the green one that Tahl had picked out. For a blind person she sure had a good choice. "And I'll take this one."

"What one is that?" Tahl asked.

"This one." Adi let her feel it, no doubt she wouldn't know it was the one she picked out.

"Hey! That's the one I picked out!" Tahl said dropping the other dress. She grabbed the green dress and yanked it out of the other woman's hands.

"Hey!" Adi stamped her foot.

"I had first dibs on this!" Tahl said.

Adi couldn't really argue.

"Here." Tahl reached onto the rack and pulled off another dress and tossed it to Adi.

Adi caught it then looked at it. It was a bronze colored dress that matched her headdress. It had a nice design on the sides of the torso and a not so modest slit on each side, with a high collar. It. Was. Perfect!

Adi had no arguments and agreed. "Sounds good to me!" She said happily.

Now for accessories.

…

Meanwhile the boys sat on the couch watching 'the game' eating food and being all over lazy typical guys. As for tuxedoes… they ordered them off the holonet and put a rush delivery on them.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

The boys looked at the door then at one another.

There was silence.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! The knocking was more urgent this time.

A heavy sigh then, "Oh fine! I'll get it!" Qui-Gon stood and opened the door. There in the doorway was a man who was carrying more boxes than he could handle.

"I-if you could just, eek, sign here." He said nearly dropping a box.

Qui-Gon signed then took the boxes using the Force. They hovered inside behind him and everyone jumped off the couch to get the boxes.

They immediately tried them on and luckily they fit. Xanatos had to special order a ghost tuxedo. It looked hardcore with the tears like it belonged to a murdered groom or something… maybe it did.

ANYWAY…

The boys were happy with their choices.. Which they just chose at random.

[Flashback] The boys surrounded Qui-Gon at the computer screen.

"That one with work." Obi-Wan said pointing to a simple tuxedo

Everyone agreed. Qui-Gon hit the quantity button and chose the sizes then hit send. The Council would be charged.

[Flashback End]

So yeah... They were all set... Now for accessories… wait... Guys don't have accessories... Never mind!

…

Garen walked up to Siri, cleared his throat and then got down on one knee and asked, "Siri, would you go with me to the SAFHPBMOR Ball?"

"I'd love to!" She said happily. No one had asked her yet and she was getting desperate.

Around the corner Obi-Wan watched as the plan was underway. Garen would take her out make her miserable and she'd come flying into his arms. Had to act cool though. Play hard to get; Bad Boy Style!

It paid to have a brother… er a best friend who is LIKE a brother, to watch out for you. Then Obi-Wan would get him a date with Angelina Katrina Melissa Mercedes Isabella Elizabeth Jones… or was it Angelina Katrina Mercedes Melissa Isabella Elizabeth Jones… Obi-Wan couldn't remember. She was the most popular girl in the Temple and she was Obi and Garen's Astrology Lab partner. Could they be any more lucky? So Obi-Wan was going to match the two up… Or at least try… She had high standards. If he couldn't get those two together Angelina Katrina Mercedes Melissa Isabella Elizabeth's sister, Angelica Penelope Rachelle Isabella Laura Jones, was available and had lower standards than her sister. However Angelica Penelope Rachelle Isabella Laura Jones' name is so long that every one just takes the first letters of each name and it spells out April Jones. So everyone just calls her April.

But enough about that…

…

Tahl and Qui-Gon were obviously going together. And Obi-Wan asked out Adi to make Siri jealous. Little did he know that Mace asked Adi out too.

…

Clee decided to go with Xanatos since he had no date and she felt bad for him. She wasn't the 'dress up' kind of girl. And she hadn't planned on going. Until Xanatos begged her... -I mean asked her, then she decided to go. She opened her closet and gaped. "Whoa! I own a DRESS!?" She pulled out the modest orange knee length dress. "I guess this would work." She tried it on and it still fit. Thank the Force! She didn't have to buy anything!

Tomorrow night would be quite a spectacle she was sure. If Tahl and her Tabloid were involved it would be a spectacle and one that would be great to witness!

…

**Alrighty! Stay tuned for the Next chapter when Clee and Xanatos observe everything that happens at the … -copy and pastes spelling-… SAFHPMBOR**

**I think that's right…**

**Please R&R  
**


	13. SAFHPMBOR

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 13: SAFHPMBOR

…

Clee and Xanatos entered the building. They saw Tahl and Qui-Gon up ahead interviewing each person.

"Yes! Now is my chance to be in the Tabloid!" Xanatos cheered. "How do I look?" He asked smoothing his hair and clothes.

"You look fine!" Clee said smoothing out the cloth on his shoulders. She offered her arm and he took it and the two proceeded.

"Well hey Clee! You come alone?" Qui-Gon asked.

Clee heard something shatter in Xanatos' chest. "What no! I came with Xanatos!" She said indicated her ghostly date.

Qui-Gon looked like he eyed Xanatos up and down then looked back to Clee. "Are you so desperate as to have to go with a figment of your imagination?"

Xanatos heard something explode in her chest.

"Yaddle! Where did you get that dress!" Tahl said changing the subject and running off followed by Qui-Gon.

Clee and Xanatos immediately went to the bar to drown their sorrows in beverages not meant for younglings… or Jedi for that matter.

"I can't believe him…" They said in unison, both miserable. They turned and saw Adi come in with Obi-Wan.

"Since when is that kid dating older women?" Clee asked.

"He was originally doing it to make Siri jealous and then he fell for Adi." Xanatos said simply.

"Oh… Poor kid doesn't know that she's leaving him for Mace?" Clee retorted. "What kind of example is Qui-Gon making for the boy?"

"He's dating Tahl remember! She's older than he is."

"True… He's a bad role model when it comes to relationships."

"I'll say…" Xanatos took another swig.

"Hey, there's Garen! Hey Hon!" She waved to her apprentice. He waved back happily and Siri just slouched next to him with an annoyed look on her face.

"Good kid, good kid," Clee said pouring herself some more wine. "I guess he got a new tux." Then when she saw the next couple come in she spewed her drink all over the people on the floor.

Xanatos looked at her then turned around to see what she was gaping at. He spewed his drink when he saw the couple as well, then started laughing. He turned and started banging his fist on the table hysterically.

"Master Yoda and Master Yaddle?" Clee asked herself.

Xanatos was still laughing.

"It's either too much of this" She indicated her drink. "or those two that is going to make me sick."

Xanatos calmed slightly then saw the masters 'getting their groove on' and started laughing even more. It made up for the fact that he couldn't get into the tabloid and made his evening worth while.

Clee on the other hand poured herself another glass and kept the bottle.

Shortly Adi and Mace showed up for yet ANOTHER drink.

"Haven' you guyz 'ad enuff?" Clee asked swaying slightly.

"PSH! You wish." Adi said taking the bottle instead of the glass that was poured for her and staggered off.

"Psh! Newbie can't even hold 'er ale!" Clee went to take another drink only to find her glass was empty.

An arm reach across with a bottle and poured her another glass. She looked and it was Xanatos who, by now, was hiccupping. She patted him on the back and took her drink. "Thanks man! Thanks!"

"Sure." he said.

…

Meanwhile Obi-Wan needed a shoulder to cry on when he found out Adi cheated on him. So he went to his brother… I mean Garen. "And then she left me for that bald guy! WAHHH!!!!"

"Hey it's cool man, you'll get Siri just like you wanted! She's gone to look for you so she could flirt."

"It's just not the same!" Obi-Wan cried.

Garen sighed. Being a brother was tough. He patted Obi on the back until he could regain composure.

"Obi!" A girly cheer came from behind Garen.

Obi looked up sorrow evident in his features.

"Obi?" It was Siri. "What's the matter?" She asked.

"Adi dumped him for baldy locks over there." Garen said indicating Mace.

At hearing of his woes Obi-Wan burst into tears once again.

"Dude you're ruining my awesome suit."

Siri gasped. "That's terrible. I didn't know Obi could be the sensitive type. I like the sensitive type." Siri said taking Obi's hand.

Garen backed up to give them space. Then he felt someone take his hand. He turned to see Angelina… uh... Jones. "I saw how loyal a friend a caring a brother you are!" She said blushing.

"Yeah?" He asked, he wasn't Obi's brother why was everyone confusing that... oh yeah... Tahl.

"It's admirable." She said pecking him on the cheek.

He silently cheered to himself. Perfect!

Things were looking up.

Off on their own Tahl and Qui-Gon were happily spending time together.

"Oh Qui-Gon!" She said sweetly.

"Yes, My love?" He replied.

"Must you call me such a thing it makes me blush so."

"I apologize but I speak only the truth."

"Oh Qui-Gon!"

They leaned in to one another; their lips were inches away.

"Hey guys,"

They stopped and jerked back as Didi came to their table. "Are you gonna order or should I leave you two be?"

Qui-Gon and Tahl looked at one another.

"I'll have the zesty chicken annihilator and a root beer." Tahl said casually.

"I'll have a salad with my usual drink!" Qui-Gon said casually.

Didi wrote it down and walked off.

"Now where were we?" Tahl asked.

He chuckled and leaned in once again…

…

**LOL! I sense romances all over the place! Hope you guys liked it! Please R&R!**


	14. Cin Drallig

Chapter 14: Cin Drallig

…

Cin was in the sparing room with his classes. "Alright now," he stopped then sighed. "YES, Giggle?"

"It's Kiggle"

"Yeah, what do you want."

"Can I go to the potty?"

"No, now as I was saying before." He stopped. "Yes, Jingofit?"

"Can I get a snack real quick?"

"No, now as I was saying before… tonight you will have an 500 word essay on…" He sighed again. "Yes Bar Bar Minks?"

"Do we HAVE to?"

"Yes!"

"CIN!"

Cin growled. "WHAT!?" He spun around to face the angry eyes of Mace, Tahl, and just about every other person in the temple. Even the dust bunnies that lived in the vents. "Oh... Uhm... Yes?"

"I understand you've been making the kids spar until their bladder's burst?"

"uuhhhm…"

"He does! I wet my pants!" A five year old said running over to the masters.

One of the female masters took him out to get him clean pants.

"And Jingofit passed out from malnourishment because he didn't get his snack!" Another youngling cried.

Tahl of course was getting all this down on her note pad as the kid was taken out on a stretcher.

Mace's evil glare was working.

"W-well, I want them to learn…"

"By torturing them?" Qui-Gon asked.

"When they're in an Epic battle they wont have time to take a potty break!" Cin argued.

"No we'll end up peeing our pants BEFORE the battle against a Sith! Then he'll be so distracted by the smell he wont be able to focus and we'll win!" said Garen who was only kidding.

"Sith are extinct!" Cin cried.

"Then what are we worried about?" Mace asked.

At that Cin couldn't argue. He shut his mouth and let the master's coddle the younglings.

"Fine but when an evil ex-Jedi comes with a giant army and annihilates them don't come crying to me!"

"You'll be among them!" Garen said laughing.

Cin turned on his heels and left. "Younglings these days have no respect for anything!" He decided to rewrite the curriculum so he still got to teach the kids what he wanted to but to make it look like its different. It would require massive brains and expertise. He was up all night planning. He didn't even take any potty or snack breaks. He felt he was a true Jedi in that respect.

Of course when he finally DID take a potty break he was in there for a while and was late for classes. He decided potty breaks were somewhat necessary.

Everything was the same however except for the potty breaks.

"Alright! I rewrote the curriculum and we will have snack and potty breaks,"

A cheer went up.

"HOWEVER!"

The kids quieted.

"You only get five minutes. So squeeze it out and get right back to your sparring… and to anyone who spars the whole way through class only has to write 100 word essays instead of the 500 word essays!" That would get them to spar the whole way through. Right? Wrong….

Every kid took a potty break during the five minutes and they all had to do the 500 word essay… however the next morning none of them had it done. They rebelled…

Cin just couldn't win.

As he said this in his head he realized it rhymed and wondered if he should take up poetry instead…

…


	15. QuiGon's Modeling Job

**XD I've finally made it to the Thong Chapter! Oh man! I'm a little afraid to write this and yet excited all the same! ….NOT THAT kind of excited! O.o excited for Reviews!**

…

Lotsa Fawsheeonay, the Famous underwear fashion designer read Tahl's Latest Tabloid on Qui-Gon. At hearing that he was a part time model and of his underwear preference, he contacted the Jedi master immediately.

…

Qui-Gon sat on the couch reading the article about himself. He read Yoda's comment and smiled. It was so true.

He heard his communicator go off and he answered it. "Jinn speaking."

"Hey there Bay-Be, Let me introduce myself. I'm Lotsa Fawsheeonay. I just read the article in Tahl's Talk, and I just gotta say, I'd love to interview you for a job as an underwear model! What do you say?" The man's tacky and cliché accent was no surprise to Qui-Gon.

"Really?"

"Yea, how about we meet for lunch today at Didi's café?"

"I'll be there."

…

Tahl walked up to Qui-Gon's door and was about to knock when it opened. "Oh Qui-Gon!"

Qui-Gon walked passed her.

"Hey where are you going?"

"I have an interview with the famous underwear designer Lotsa Fawsheeonay. He says he wants me to be a model for him." Qui-Gon turned and walked off.

Tahl couldn't believe what she was hearing. Women would see him in THONGS! She couldn't allow this! He was HER man!

She decided to enlist the help of some friends.

"Hi Clee I need your help! it's Qui-Gon-"

"Well, if you hadn't published that article I'm sure he wouldn't be mad at you."

"No He's going to be an underwear model!" Tahl cried.

"This IS Serious! I'll get Garen. I doubt Obi-Wan would want his master to be such a thing so I'll get him too. And I'm sure Xanatos will want to stop him to save the innocent minds of those poor civilians."

"Clee, why do you keep insisting that Xanatos is around?" Tahl asked.

Clee was silent except for a low growl.

"I'll call Adi and the rest of the council." She hung up on Clee and contacted Adi.

…

Adi sat in the council room. They were discussing Obi and Siri's current relationship when her communicator when off. "Adi here."

Everyone looked at her and was silent.

"Oh Tahl hey I didn't recognize your panicking voice. What's that? Why should I care if Qui-Gon decides to become an underwear model?"

The council's eyes bugged out. Except Yoda.

Then Adi's eyes bugged out as Tahl explained the reasons why. "You're RIGHT, if we let him do this we'll have to compete with millions of women! Best keep it between us. Yeah I'll get the council in on it too. Right! I'll meet you in the alley outside Didi's Café."

Adi hung up on Tahl and addressed the Council. "Qui-Gon has gone over the deep end…"

"I thought he went over the deep end when he started dating Tahl…" Mace commented.

"Well… Even MORE over the deep end." Adi corrected.

"So what are we going to do?"

"I think Tahl has a plan. We have to meet her in the alley outside Didi's."

"Let's go!" Mace said standing up dramatically.

…

Outside the dinner they saw Qui-Gon sitting at his usual table with some fancy shmancy guy with really bad style talking to Qui-Gon.

"So what's the plan?" Adi asked Tahl.

Tahl looked at her. "I don't know! That's why I called you guys!"

Inside the cafe the fashion designer was speaking. "Now listen here Bay-Be, I like you! What do you say you come work for me?"

"We gotta get in there!" Tahl said pleadingly.

"Garen is already on it!" Clee said nodding her head to the 'waiter' that was walking toward the two.

"Does he really think he can pull off the goofy mustache." Adi asked.

"He looks bad with a mustache." Obi-Wan commented. "I like him better clean shaven."

Everyone looked at the boy. "What do you mean by that?"

Before Obi-Wan could answer, a yelp could be heard from the café. Everyone turned to look.

Garen had served something to Qui-Gon that jumped off his plate and landed on the other guy completely freaking him out.

"EEEEEE!!! Get it off Get it off! Get it off!!" He squealed like a sissy girl.

Qui-Gon ripped it off and apologized for the clumsiness of the waiter. He ended up kicking Garen out, still not realizing it was the kid. "Now Shoo!" Garen landed on the hard concrete and sat there a moment.

"Darn it!"

"uh… oh my… now… Do we have a deal?" He asked wiping some sweat from his brow.

"Absolutely!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Everyone in the alley screamed at once.

…

The next day was Qui-Gon's first day.

Obi-Wan, and Tahl sat in Clee's apartment with her, Garen and Xanatos playing Parcheesi to cheer them up.

"I can't believe he left me to pursue a career of underwear modeling!" Tahl cried.

"I can't believe he left ME! I'm his apprentice." Obi-Wan cried.

"I'm his girlfriend!" Tahl said defensively.

Xanatos looked at Clee… something told them that they were going to fight over that man.

"Well you still have me you know!" Garen said to Obi-Wan sounding somewhat offended.

Everyone looked at the two.

Obi-Wan made a kitty face [X3] "Brother!!!!" He lunged and hugged Garen.

"Okay you two-"

CRASH!

Everyone looked to the door.

There was silence then…

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Who is it?" Clee asked.

There was some silence then…

"Qui-Gon."

Everyone looked amongst themselves then Clee said, "Come on in."

The door opened and in walked an ashamed looking man.

"Yes?" Clee decided she best start the conversation.

"Come crawling back to us huh?" Tahl noted.

"Yeah the ones you abandoned! Who says we'll take you back?" Obi-Wan added.

Qui-Gon twiddled his thumbs then said quietly. "It was a women's underwear modeling job."

Xanatos started laughing which became contagious and everyone else started laughing.

Thus ended a very strange instance.

Qui-Gon was forgiven and he forgave the others for their laughing and they all lived happily ever after… well at least until the next article came out…

…

**That wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be! XD I hope you liked it!**


	16. Tahl

**Hmmm.. I have no idea how to do this one with Tahl talking about herself!… Time to do what I do best! Improvise!**

**-Stares at screen-**

**This is harder than I thought. Okay this chapter will take some serious BSing skills! XD**

**Here it goes!**

…

Tahl sat reading fan mail… I mean letters to the editor; which was her. Well then again she wasn't really reading them Too-Jay was and she was listening.

"'Dear Tahl'," Too-Jay read allowed. "'Your latest article really shed some light on Qui-Gon, could you send him my way so I can-'" "

"GUH!" Tahl reached over and deleted the letter. All the fan mail was either for Qui-Gon or for her to give him up. "Is there anything interesting? Too-Jay!"

"Yes Sir?" Too-Jay said saluting.

"Delete anything pertaining to Qui-Gon them read me what's left."

Too-Jay did so… "One left…"

"Read it…" Tahl said sternly.

"Dear Tahl, Why don't you write an article about yourself? We would all love to read it." Too-Jay read allowed then felt a fierce grip on his metal.

"Who's it from?" Tahl asked energetically.

"It's from Anonymous." Too-Jay said.

"Well, we'll just have to make myself amazing! I mean tell people about me and make her happy… or him." Tahl said innocently and excitedly.

She sat down at her computer and began to type up a biography on herself….

[Five minutes later]

"Done!" She read what she wrote. "Seems short."

"Very…" Too-Jay commented. "I guess you're not very interesting." Too-Jay added.

"Who asked you!?" Tahl snapped. "This calls for…."

…

At the Jinn's residence.

"What?" Qui-Gon asked incredulously.

"What do you think of me?" Tahl asked.

Qui-Gon shut the door.

"HEY!" Tahl said with a huff.

…

That night…

…

"Luckily I was able to get him to open his door." She told Too-Jay as she typed up her amazing story. "And Wala! I got my story!"

"Wow, that sounds epic Tahl! You spelled 'the' wrong."

"Shut up!" She said smacking Too-Jay.

She finished up her article. "I'm so happy everyone loves me so!"

…

Meanwhile…

…

"Yeah, I dunno if she caught the sarcasm in my voice." Mace said into his comlink.

"Yeah, I don't think she understood what I meant either. Or any of us for that matter…"

"Oh well."

…

Tahl checked her mail.

"Oh I got fan mail…Ewwwww its from Robbert Fattersin. You know what this means!"

"Hate mail?"

"That's right Too-Jay, Hate mail!" Tahl said evilly.

…

**Okay I'm sorry… This was REALLY tough to write a behind the scenes look.**

**So I'll make up for it next chapter.**


	17. Locked Away

**Chapter 17**

**The song is Something's up with Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas. I took the tune! XD**

…

The scene opens outside Tahl's room.

Something's up with Tahl

Something's up with Tahl.

She's not even in the hall.

She's locked away in there

All alone inside

Never says a word

Hope she hasn't died.

Something's up with Tahl

Something's up with Tahl

Inside Tahl sat facing a corner where an old shoe box lay.

In her lap was a gallon of ice cream which she was dipping into very frequently.

"Oh Lassie!" she spoke to the deceased fish in the box. "and they wonder why I have such an obsession with sea creatures." She sobbed as she put another spoonful into her mouth. "It was because I loved you so!!!" She wept.

…

"It was because I loved you so!" Siri heard the cry from the other side of the door.

"And I have my story!" Siri said slyly. Then she heard more from the other side and decided to put it in her article.

Siri ran to begin her article of the Tabloid. Boy oh boy did she have a story!

"What? Mace has a broad shouldered girlfriend?" she asked Yoda who gave her his spiel. "I thought it was Adi who had a broad shouldered BOYFRIEND."

"Perhaps confused the yare and share this person?" Yoda suggests.

Siri shivered at that.

When talking to Garen she had the urge to knock his lights out. "Can you not be a jerk for one minute?" she asked.

"Of course not!" He said arrogantly receiving him a punch in the gut.

…

In Tahl's room she had finally flushed the toilet. "Goodbye!" She spoke sadly.

Turning out of the fresher she looked into her room. It was empty now without Lassie.

"I MUST try to overcome this." she said to herself. I know! I'll check my mail.

She logged on to her computer. "I should probably change the password. Someone might try to hack."

Tahl changed the password from QUIGGY to !!!!11!!1!!111!

"Yeah no one will guess that!"

…

Siri was in the library trying to hack Tahl's computer to get to her mail so she could put in some letters to the editor. She typed in the password QUIGGY.

ACCESS DENIED

I HATE QUIGGY

ACCESS DENIED

QUIGGY IS A JERK

ACCESS DENIED

POTATOESKINS

ACCESS DENIED

"GUH!!! Well what else would it be?" Siri was out of ideas and decided to move on and to not put any letters in. "Oh well her loss."

…

In the end Tahl did emerge and the first arms she went to were Quiggy's I mean Qui-Gon's… Then Clee because she needed feminine support as well.

However when she found out that Siri did an article without her knowing she decided to attack…

In the end they all lived happily ever after… well until Adi found out that Tahl beat up her padawan because the girl was spreading rumors.

…

**I know I know These last few have been pretty short and pretty lame. I sawee!**


	18. I Caught Up! SWEET!

**Chapter 18!**

...

Tahl stood on the steps in her epic adventuring attire.

"Tahl where are you going?" Qui-Gon asked walking up to her.

"I'm going on an epic adventure to the outer rim."

"I take it the Council is sending you away again?" Qui-Gon asked sure that was what it was.

"You wish! No I'm going on my own accord."

"For your magazine?"

"Yup!"

"You're not going to interview us?"

"You guys are so lame and pathetic why would I want to interview you?"

From around the corner Xanatos cringed.

"You find us lame and pathetic?" Qui-Gon asked incredulously.

"Yeah you boring Jedi are just a waste of my time." She said with a wave of her hand.

"Oh I see…" Qui-Gon was more amused than insulted at this point.

"Yeah so if you could just not follow me that would be great!"

"Oh of course."

"Good. Well, I'm off." And so Tahl left.

"I wonder if she'll get beat up by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal." Clee said as she walked up to Qui-Gon.

"Who knows."

…

And so there she was up against a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. "I can't see it…" She said.

And it didn't see her. She walked on and didn't get a scratch on her.

…

"Actually You know Clee, The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you." Xanatos said.

"And she's blind!" She said a bit disappointed realizing that Tahl wasn't going to get beaten up.

"Yes I know…" Qui-Gon said not understanding since he hadn't heard Xanatos.

"Uh… never mind." Clee said giving up.

…

Tahl then made her interviews and decided to watch the race.

"Wow they're going sooo fast!" She said fro where she sat.

The people around her just looked at her funny, got up and moved away… The race hadn't started yet.

Tahl, having placed a random bet on a random racer ended up winning millions.

"What? I won? Cool!" She accepted her prize and moved on.

…

"But, Sir.. Isn't gambling against the Jedi code?" Too-Jay asked as she was typing her article.

"W-well…." she looked again at the article. She sighed and began hitting the backspace key.

"You spelled 'the' wrong."

She punched Too-Jay out…

Wow you know for a Jedi she sure is violent!

…

**XD okay so I finally caught up with Sithstruck! I dunno how good these last few were… I think my creativity well dried up…**


	19. Reeft and the Gum Monster

Tahl's Tabloid

Chapter 19: Food Stuffs!

…

Reeft sat at his usual place during lunch. He felt very important. He was in one of Tahl's articles. He sat there with three lunch pails. He looked around in an arrogant fashion then cracked his fingers. He looked around again in an arrogant fashion and… CLICK. FLIP. He opened his first lunch pail.

….

Garen walked into the lunch room carrying Obi-Wan piggy-back. Obi-Wan carried both of their lunches.

"Why am I carrying you?" Garen asked happy his friend didn't weigh that much.

"Because we're brothers!" Obi-Wan pointed out. "Remember when we were kidnapped by that crazy fan girl and she tried brainwashing us? I think she had a point!"

"Well, even if she had a point, you're older."

"No according to her we're twins!"

Garen sighed and carried Obi-Wan over to the Table where Reeft was pigging out.

"Can you BeWeeve it? I got intuh Taow's Taboid befoe Xanatos." Reeft said with his mouth full.

"Manners!" Garen scolded and put Obi-Wan down.

Reeft swallowed. "Sorry. Can you Believe I got into Tahl's Tabloid before Xanatos?"

"SHH!!!" Garen scolded looking around. "You trying to hurt his feelings?"

"Oh sorry." Reeft said quietly.

"I hate this kind of gum…" Obi-Wan said complaining.

"I'll take it" Reeft offered eagerly.

Obi-Wan shrugged and handed it over.

Reeft immediately devoured it and began chewing and blowing bubbles.

Then from behind them Xanatos sulked up. "I can't believe she still hasn't put me in her Tabloid." The Ghostly figure sat down at the lunch table and sighed. Then with tear filed eyes and choked up voice asked, "Don't they love me?" He dropped his head to the table and began weeping.

"There, there!" Garen comforted.

Obi-Wan and Garen were so busy comforting Xanatos that they didn't see Reeft blowing a giant bubble with his gum.

"HEH GUYZ!"

The boys looked at the giant pink balloon bubble.

"Uhm, Reeft... That's awfully big."

"YUH I KNUH" Reeft said from inside the bubble, sorta…

"That thing is bigger than Adi and Tahl's Butts combined!" Garen said.

The boys looked at him.

"What … it is!

"WHAT is bigger than our butts?" The sound of an angry female's voice sounded from behind Garen.

The boys turned to look and sure enough Adi and Tahl were standing there.

"MMPH!" Reeft attempted to explain.

The boys turned in time to see the bubble go POP!

The pink sticky material enveloped Reeft's head cutting off air to his lungs.

They could hear a stifled scream come from beneath the pink sticky head.

Reeft jumped from his chair and began running in frantic circles.

"Reeft come back!" Garen and Obi-Wan began running after their friend to try and save him. When they got to him, one held him down while other tried tearing the gum off of his face.

"MMHHMMMM!!!!" The pained groan came from Reeft.

"Clear it from his nose and mouth first!" Obi suggested.

Garen did so and a loud gasp for air was heard when he succeeded.

"Okay, no don't move I'm gonna try and get it off of your eyes." Garen began to try and gently pull the gum from his friend's eyes.

"AHHHhh-OOOOWWW!!!" Reeft cried.

"It's stuck to his eye lashes!" Garen said desperately.

"Let's get him to the medical wing!" Obi declared.

So the two friends followed by Xanatos led Reeft to the healing ward where they'd get laughed at.

…

"PPFFFTTT!!!!" The healers began laughing just at the sight of the boys. They grunted and snorted to try and stop their laughing and were finally able to succeed.

After twenty minutes and an emergency surgery… meaning hot soapy cloth over Reeft's eyes to moisten the gum from being sticky, they were able to extract the gum from his eye lashes and save his … life.

After having his ego hurt he felt things would look up, now that the gum was off… however when the doors opened to the hallways outside the healing ward, the boys found two angry looking woman standing in their path; Tahl and Adi.

"Oh crud!" Garen said behind his friends.

When they turned to look at him he was gone. They were able to catch a glimpse of his and a ghostly figure's retreating figure… kind of redundant.

Reeft turned to Obi-Wan to complain that he and Xanatos ditched them only to find his other friend was gone as well. He faced this danger alone!

**…**

**XD I'd hate to have gum in my eyes!**

**The reference to the fan girl kidnapping Garen and Obi and trying to brainwash them... See my other fic 'A Happy Unbirthday Party'.**


	20. Fuzzy Bunny

Tahl's Tabloid

REDHEAD!

…

A few weeks ago…

Clee sat and watched as couples passed on the street. A sudden revelation came to her. No one had ever asked her out or expressed feelings to her. This caused her to feel down and unloved. Not only was this making her feel down but it was raining thus echoing these emotions, AND Xanatos had forgotten to lock the doors this morning. He said he couldn't but she didn't believe that. Because of this someone stole her favorite stuffed bunny she cuddled with at night. She had had the thing since she was a wee tot. Now who would she cry to?

…

"TAHL! I'm so single! What do I do?" She missed Fuzzy Bunny so much.

Tahl took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Don't worry! Everything will be okay!" Then Tahl left leaving Clee who was starting to feel better now.

Present time…

"Uhhhh... I can't believe her…" Clee said as she read the tabloid.

Garen was munching some carrots that had 'miraculously appeared in the fridge that morning'. Or so he said. "What?"

Clee put the paper down and looked at her apprentice. "Tahl…"

"Oh you mean the latest article about you crying for a boyfriend?" Garen asked.

Clee fumed. How could he be so cruel to his own master!? "I never said that!"

Garen pointed to the quote.

Clee turned her head and made a poor excuse.

"Uh huh sure…"

Clee reread the article. "Your comment…" she glanced up at Garen who looked at her curiously.

"What about it?"

Clee put the paper down and folded her hands. "I'm flattered." She rested her chin on her folded hands that were supported by her elbows. She stared Garen down, whose eyes bugged out and he began to flush a deep red.

"I-uh--.. I ..I-I gotta go!" He scurried out of the apartment.

Clee laughed evilly and opened the tabloid back up again. "Suckah!" She read some more of the article again. "Pft, Cin's dreaming." She tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

DING DONG

Clee looked up at the door. Who would visit? When she opened the door she nearly choked on her own tongue.

There standing before her was a very geeky looking padawan.

"Uhm… Yes?" She asked.

"Uhm… Hi. M-Master Clee. I'm cuh-Caruhl." His stereotypical nasally voice was too much.

"Uhm, Hello Caruhl, what can I do for you?"

He looked down and shifted on his feet a bit before answering. "Well…" He was blushing. "I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go to the Star Heck convention with me."

What had Tahl done? Clee's smile faltered slightly but she was able to bring it back. "Oh ,well uhm… That's very kind of you but I'm not- I'm uhm…Well you see…" How could she turn him down without hurting his feelings.

"Oh I see." She said almost teasingly.

"Huh?"

"You're not ready for a commitment, right?"

Was this kid for real?"

Clee stepped back into her apartment shut the door and locked it. When she turned, anyone inside the apartment could see the most nervous crazy person smile the galaxy had ever seen. "What am I going to do?"

For the next few hours she kept the door closed warding off fan boy after fan boy. Even Qui-Gon who said he was there to check if Obi-Wan was with Garen.

She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Clee jumped. Should she answer it?

"Clee!" It was Master Yoda.

The door flew open like you wouldn't believe. "Master!"

"In trouble are you?"

Clee fell to her knees and wailed, "Yes!"

"There, there… All of us with great looks… suffer the consequences we must."

"Waahh!! Perfect people aren't supposed to suffer like this!" Clee wailed over Yoda's shoulder.

Passersby stopped only a momentary second to see what the big deal was. Of course when they saw that Yoda had the situation under control they moved on. Not that they would have helped anyway.

"Yes, Suffer I did. The hottest thing in the universe, I was. Hotter than an exploding sun, I was. Called me a narcissus, they did! As beautiful as a flower, I was." Yoda went on like this for some time.

Clee sat there crying on the small master's shoulder wondering where he was going with this. A Narcissus? He was the guy who was obsessed with himself right? Maybe they weren't complimenting him… although… there is a flower. She sighed. At least she wasn't like him, right? After some time she straightened and sat up. She wiped her eyes.

"All better?" Yoda asked.

Clee nodded.

He chuckled. "That's another thing! I'm so amazing, make people feel better, I do."

Clee said nothing.

She turned and saw Garen slowly making his way toward the apartment. She stood and went in.

After a minute or two he entered as well. "Uhm.. Master…"

"I was kidding…" She said simply.

"You mean earlier?"

"Yeah why?" She turned to see a very disappointed yet relieved padawan before her.

"Oh, okay. You know… You really are hot. And don't listen to Yoda. He wasn't hot."

Clee smiled. "And how would you know that?"

"I've seen baby pictures of him." He said looking around.

Clee smiled harder. "Where?"

"Master Yaddle."

"Now THAT is frightening."

"Very!"

Even if Garen was goof ball he knew how to cheer her up. "Want to help me fend off the fan boys?"

Garen thought about it. "On one condition."

Clee was taken back. "Condition?" No he couldn't mean… No! He didn't want her to, and with him!

"We're going to the Star Heck convention!" He proclaimed.

Clee groaned. Why? Why? How did she know he was going to make that the condition. How could it get any worse?

Swoosh….

The two looked to the door and in had floated Xanatos. He looked around. "What?"

"You left the doors unlocked and my Fuzzy Bunny got Stoled!"

"Fuzzy Bunny?" Xanatos asked with a chuckle.

"Uhm.. Clee…" garen got her attention. "Two things…one: Stoled isn't' a word-"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Wow you're hot even when you're breathing fire!" Garen said cheerfully. "No pun intended." He corrected.

Clee just stared at him.

"Oh!" Garen realized he hadn't finished his thought. "And I know where Fuzzy Bunny is…"

"REALLY?" Clee squealed. "Where?"

"Well… You and the readers will have to find out next chapter!" Garen said mischievously.

Clee's eye twitched.

…

XD Cliff hanger!!!!


End file.
